10. Making a Date with the Devil

THANKS TO

Nicole aka Pattypattz 

&

Dianne aka rdmickey1989

for all the awesome work they do even when Tornado's are blowing by!

You guys RAWK!

Shhhhh…..

Chapter 10

Making a date with the devil

Alice must have forced him into doing this.

At least that is what made sense. Still there was something that wasn’t quite right about the situation. If it was only at Alice’s insistence, then why did he look at me like that? I saw the passionate look in his deep green eyes, as they literally burned into mine. His lips were slightly parted like he wanted to say something, but was at a loss as to what he should say. I felt the surge of raw energy as it pulsed in my hand when he took it into his own,  twirling me with a suave grace as he put himself behind me, my hand never leaving his. When his other hand made contact with my waist, the coolness of his touch spread over my stomach through the silk of my dress, and with just a gentle pull he allowed me to lean back into him as he embraced me. It felt like our bodies molded into one. He inhaled the scent of my hair, and it felt like this is where I belonged.  Within his strong arms I felt secure, content, and at ease. So what the hell just happened?

I know I didn’t imagine the way he looked at me.  I sure as hell didn’t imagine the words that he whispered into my ear in that honeyed voice of his. He said I was beautiful. He admitted that he wanted me and I would swear that I felt his need and desire for me with every move we made. So why did he think that what that was between us could end badly?

I started to let him get inside of my heart and my head. I must have let my guard down and allowed myself to feel something that wasn’t really there. After all he is Perfectward and I knew this already.

He is the kind of man that women dream about and well for me I am just ordinary.

For him it seemed like problem solved. He walked away.

I loved that song, and I will never forget the way it felt being in his arms as we danced. It was the most sensual, fucking dance I’ve ever had and probably ever will.

Rosalie had me dress up in this beautiful white, sexy dress with my hair and makeup done perfectly, and these sexy high heals.  I felt like I was Cinder-Fucking-Rella.

So, okay Cinderella it is back to the white coach and horses, before they turn into a        pumpkin, and mice at the stroke of midnight. There went my damn fairy-tale.

I laugh at this silently, because it is better than crying.

I probably won’t be as lucky as Cinderella…who has her perfect Prince seek her out, so they can live happily ever after.

No, I am just Isabella Swan, and I drive a classy Vanquish. It is one hot fucking car. It turns heads, and garners me attention, and I love my fucking car that cost me a small fortune, and I have the ability to buy whatever I want. Well I can buy… almost anything I want…

But you can’t buy love…no matter how pretty he is.

It was a truly beautiful moment, with an extraordinarily gorgeous man, who I should be thanking for the experience. He allowed a plain little girl a brief moment in which to live out a fantasy. Face it Bella… you are naïve and inexperienced. Live and learn, and move on!

Rosalie steps up with Emmett at her side, and she starts in on me. Geez…this is all I need now…the Rosalie inquisition.

“Bella, what the hell happened?”

I could see this odd look on Alice’s face. Did I understand it? No.

Was Alice’s eyes speaking of regret? Anger? Confusion? Frustration?  I was not sure what she was trying to tell me or what she was thinking.

“Bella…he was sorry, but he had to go.” Emmett blurts out as if he was making up some excuse.

So I did as I always had in these situations…I let my smart ass mouth fly. This was one of my defense mechanisms, something I did when someone hurts me.

“Let me write that down in my notebook of things I don’t give a flying fuck about Emmett.” I snapped at him. His jaw became tense.

The song ended, and then the dance ended. He had done his part, then left. He did not even turn around to give me a second thought. End of story. I got the damn message from him…loud and clear, and to top it all off we are making a huge scene right on the dance floor. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Why does embarrassing shit always happen to me?

Alice stepped up and started to apologize, but I would not let her.

“No Alice…I am fine… really.” I walked past everyone, tired of them standing around me, acting like I am this hurt little lamb. I make my way to the bathroom eager to get away from their prying eyes. Why am I reacting this way towards him? It was just a fucking dance and now it was over.

Right?

I stood there staring at my reflection in the mirror, seeing now what everyone must have seen as I stood out on the dance floor alone. It was that hurt little lamb they saw. I hated the thought of them seeing me like this.  I fight back the threat of tears again.

Why do you put yourself through this Bella? You knew he was an ass. What the hell did you expect to happen?  I knew what I wanted to happen, but I should have known better.

The door opened suddenly, when a long haired blond girl who looked like she belonged on a runway, walked in and asks, “Are you Isabella?”

“Yes.” I eye her warily.

“There is someone out there who is waiting for you. He said his name is Caius.”

Caius. I had forgotten he was even here. 

“Thank You.” I smile at her, she nods walking back out. I stare at myself for a few minutes more, taking a deep breath to steady my nerves. I proceed to freshen up, walk out to see him leaning against the wall.

“There you are.” He gives me this beautiful smile, looking genuinely happy to see me. It was nice to experience the feeling that at least someone is happy to see me.

“I bought you a drink, but you disappeared.”

“You didn’t need to do that, but thank you.”

“Will you sit with me?” he had a hopeful look on his face.

“Uh, sure… why not?” I give him my best smile, and let him lead me to a table where a frozen strawberry margarita slightly melted is waiting for me.

“Aren’t you having one?” I ask as I take a sip. I could really use the alcohol right now. This would help to ease my frazzled nerves at least.

“I don’t drink.”

“You wouldn’t be trying to get me drunk now would you?” I tease him, smirking.

“I certainly hope not. You drove here am I right?” he grins.

“Yes. So this will be the only drink I have, but thank you for being so considerate.”

“So Bella, I want to know everything there is to know about you.”

I am stunned at first. I am not used to someone being so curious about me. Suddenly the night does not look so horrible anymore. I am not going to dwell on what happened earlier, but rather enjoy myself.

Caius has been nothing but sweet, flirty, and I notice the dominant qualities in him. He is extremely sexy, good-looking, and young, but more than anything he is interested in me, and his attentiveness is helping me to feel better about myself.

I find I am laughing and genuinely having a great time in spite of what had happened earlier. To say I didn’t think about him off and on would have been a lie. I did, but I willed myself to push those thoughts of him right the hell out of my head. 

Emmett interrupts our time, and my conversation with Caius, asking to dance with me. I wasn’t sure what game he was up to, but I didn’t trust him. I did not know him well enough to put faith in him yet, but I suspected that Rosalie had something to do with this. I also wondered if this would piss Caius off as well like it had earlier with the other guy, but this time he did not object.   

He twirled me on the dance floor, before he presses his cool lips next to my ear and I feel his cool breath blow over it as I barely hear the words he just said to me.

“Bella…I have to warn you that Caius could be dangerous for you. I am concerned for your safety.  I have to say that Edward would not approve of you hanging out with him all night. He would worry about you also, and I know everyone else here, including Rosalie who is worried about you too.”

I wanted to slap him across the face.

How dare he talk to me expressing some false concern for me when his brother was the one that walked out the door and left me alone on the dance floor! Yeah right…he gave me some damn lame excuse like he was covering for Edward and I suspect that he does this quite often for his brother remembering back to the night of the fire.

Seriously? How fucking dare he!

That WAS the last fucking straw. I have had enough crap for one damn night, so I snapped. I pull back from him and create yet another scene. I had been on this very dance floor earlier when I was rejected, embarrassed, hurt and now we can add livid to the list of emotions I am experiencing. I cannot believe the audacity of Emmett to convey concern to me for him, acting like nothing had happened, and that Edward would not approve of me being around Caius. Who the hell was he to say anything at this point? He walked out on me, not the other way around. If he was so concerned about Caius…after he saw me dancing with him earlier, then why did he not stay?

“How dare you! What or whom I spend time with, is no ones business but my own! I am a legal adult! I was a legal adult at the age of sixteen God damn it! I have no plans to take Caius home and fuck him, but if I did, I would not share that information with you! As far as Edward is concerned, I don’t give a rat’s ass whether he approves or not! He is not my Master! Now…if you will excuse me, please tell Rose I have a headache, and that I appreciate her concern for my well being and all, but I am just fucking fine! She can get a ride from Jessica.” I stood here for a moment glaring at him before I storm out of the club.

The ride on this emotional rollercoaster was about to come to an abrupt stop! I want the fuck off of this ride!

My life had been less complicated before I had met Edward Cullen, and joined that damn stupid club of his! I handed the valet my ticket and I wanted to get as far away from here as possible. I stood in the cold night air waiting for my car and hoping to God no one follows me. Then as if my night had not been bad enough, my car comes flying around the corner faster than I would have liked anyone to be driving it.

I immediately see red. Literally…I was about to go postal.

As soon as he stepped out of my car, like he owned it, I glanced down to his name tag making damn sure to use his name while I lay the fuck into him.

“Embry the Mario Andretti of Valet drivers…I am curious. Do you always drive cars like you beat off your fucking dick?”  I hiss at him in utter disgust.

He gapes up at me. I move in pushing him up against my car.

“Next time treat it like a lady with an ounce of respect…and fuck you if you think I am tipping your sorry ass. How dare you drive my car like that!” I knew I was out of control at this point, but there is no turning back.

I step back and seethe “Get your skanky ass off my freshly detailed paint job!” I shove him and climb in. I shut my door harder than I had intend to. I find myself peeling out and speeding towards home.

Tears prick at my eyes and I keep repeating this mantra in my head.

No, No, No!  Do Not Do This! He is so not worth it. He is an asshole. He is too good for you anyhow. I don’t know why, but I feel so inferior around him…Mr. Perfect, with OCD and control issues, who has every woman in the club wanting him. He could have anyone he wanted, so why would does he continue to taunt me?

I press the remote and pull up into my driveway. I did not bother to park my car in the garage. I jump out and I find myself still agitated with the evening’s events as I jiggle the door to get the damn thing unlocked. It will not open, and I curse at it.

“Fuck…just fucking unlock already… damn it!”

I kick it once with these damn four inch high heels thinking that my foot is somehow going to wiggle the handle free. Stupid I know, but I can’t help it because I am shaking with both hurt and anger. I feel like I am borderline psychotic. I am losing it here…now that I am away from everyone and have time to think about it all. The waves of emotions are crashing into me, and I feel my heart pounding, my head is splitting, and my temper is off the charts. Fuck it all!!

Why am I acting so fucking emotional about one dance with this guy? Fuck him, and the horse he rode in on…he can ride the fuck back out of my life!

I jiggle the door again and curse at it. “Fuck! OPEN THE FUCK UP!”

Finally, it gives way and the key turns, opening the damned door. I storm in and slam the door. Simultaneously I kick off my heels and stomp my way up the stairs trying to get this damn fairy-tale dress off my ass. I don’t care if Rosalie hates me for it or not, but the damn dress reminds me of him, and I plan to burn it in the bathtub. I want to torch it, but I realize I don’t own one. Huh…maybe I got ahead of myself with that last thought. In any case I just need this damn thing off of me, NOW!

I reach back to unzip it and I can’t fucking reach the damn thing. I try to twist it to the side and the fucker is molded to my form. I am moving in every possible position to get this thing off, but it is impossible. I contemplate taking some scissors to the damned dress.

I can hear my cell phone ringing downstairs, and I ignore the damn thing, going back to fighting this fucking dress.  Where are those scissors again?

I give up screaming and throw myself down on the bed and pitching a tantrum like a two year old. How did I let all this bullshit happen to me, and what the fuck has me so emotionally unstable.

I’ll give you two words to guess his name.

Edward Cullen. 

“Fuck you… Edward Cullen.”  Damn that man! Why did he have to be so fucking hot and gorgeous and look at me like he did this evening? What did the words he whispered to me really mean if he walked out?

“Shut up!!!” I scream at my phone which continues to ring. Stopping and then ringing again. Repeating over and over until the ringing stops, so they have either hung up or they have left a message for me… then it the rings starts all over. A vicious cycle that never stops and I can’t take it anymore.

I have become Sybil now, as I fly down the stairs yanking it out of my damn purse and scream into the platinum plated, fucking diamond piece of shit that he sent to me. I did not want nor ask for this fucking gawdy-assed phone. I will make sure to replace it soon. It is a stark reminder of who gave it to me…and the thought sickens and pisses me off to hell and back. Damn it! Can I just get him out of my head already?

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?”

“Isabella? Are you alright? I am sorry, it’s just you sound really upset. I am sorry I bothered you Dolcezza, please call me later okay?”

I realize I am yelling at Caius. I had given him my number earlier. The one person who has been nothing but nice to me, and I have to be a damned bitch to him. I take a deep breath and apologize.  

“Caius. Uh…I am sorry. I just…shit…I got into a disagreement with Emmett and I am sorry that I left without saying goodbye to you first. That was rude of me, and very inconsiderate.”

“Don’t apologize, so long as you are alright.”

He is so attentive and seems genuinely concerned. He is such a nice guy and he doesn’t deserve my tantrums or my wrath. God Bella where are your manners? I feel like such a heel.

I remember laughing, and enjoying myself with him earlier. Not only did he make me laugh tonight, but he listened to me. He is the exact opposite of Edward. I needed to focus on the positive… not all the crap. 

A memory of Jacob flashes in my head. I want to have that. I want someone to look at me that way he gave Leah everyday...it conveyed adoration, kindness, respect, and dare I say love. That was the look that I thought I saw from Edward, but I was obviously mistaken. Maybe I had seen this look given to me from Caius and I didn’t notice it. I do not know. Quit over-thinking while you’re ahead Bella!

“Listen, how can I make it up to you?” I smile into the phone. I hope he can hear my change in demeanor within my voice now.

“You don’t have to make anything up to me Isabella, I was just calling to make sure you were okay.” Wow, that is nice of him. Maybe he is as nice as he appears to be?

“I am fine now…Listen Caius…I was wondering…”

S*h*h*h*h*h*…..

Edward’s POV

Just as I exited the club… walking to the parking garage, I did not realize that someone is calling me until I feel a tug on my jacket.

“Edward. Are you alright? You look a little frazzled.”

Angela stands there and she is dressed to kill. I realize all of a sudden that she is probably here for Emmett.

Emmett is still inside dancing with Rosalie. Fuck. I knew how Emmett felt about Rosalie. Between Jasper and I, we had him pegged from the moment he met her, and we had sensed that he was falling hard for the girl. Angela and he were not exclusive by any means, and she knew that, but for some reason I didn’t want anything else bad to happen tonight by having Angela and Rosalie get into some sort of a confrontation.

“Uh yeah.” I mutter and look around to see who is in the area.

“Did you need to talk?” she offered and I blink a few times pulling my hand through my hair.

“Maybe.” I whispered.

“Do you want to go back inside?”

“No..uh…I was going to go back to my place.” I rambled on as she nodded and started to turn to leave.

“Wait Angela?”

“Yeah?”

“I could use a friend.” I don’t know what came over me. I was not Angela’s friend. I never had been. She was Emmett’s swan.

She looked confused, “Do you want me to go with you?”  I then hear her thoughts.

Please say yes. I would love to go to your place. You’re upset I can help you…console you.

No, she could not, but she could distract me from the thoughts I continued having about Isabella, and I could do this one thing for Emmett.

“Do you mind?”

“No not at all. Shall I follow?”

“No. I can drive.” I lead her to my car and before I knew it, I was at the penthouse taking her coat from her to hang up.

Now it is accepted that Vampires are myths to most humans. However, Swans believe in our kind, and Angela has no doubt as to what we are. By keeping her dark secret she in turn has to keep ours. The world frowns on cutters such as herself, and Angela cuts when she doesn’t have Emmett around.

Her mind is a mixture of some very unresolved issues from her childhood and a lot of drama amongst her family members. It does not take me long to really figure out that Angela is very neglected. Her family is rather large, and she is often forgotten. She is kind and giving… doing much more than she has to as far as caring for her family and they take advantage of her. She is too kind for her own good, and internalizes all her problems instead of verbalizing them to her family.

I feel badly for her.

She sits down on the couch and I can’t help but take in her appearance. Angela is a very, pretty girl.  She just has problems with her self esteem and confidence in herself. Angela could be so much more, but she is an emotional wreck.

 

Her short skirt hitches up her thighs a little too high, leaving the scars in plain view on her inner thighs. I see them as I sit down on the opposite end of the couch.

I don’t know what I am going to talk to her about. I know she knows Isabella so that is out of the question. I cannot broach this subject with anyone right now. I am still confused as all hell and trying to understand what is going on. I do not want to bring her up and I need a distraction from thoughts of her.

Then Angela turns to me and whispers, “Are you thirsty Edward? Your eyes are deeply shadowed. When is the last time you fed?”

I just stare at her. She brings me back to the present, from my self-induced haze of thinking about Isabella only minutes ago.

She has offered herself to me before. The night she was high, and came to the club looking for Emmett was the first.

“It’s been a while.” I mumble looking out the huge picture window that over-looks the city.

“Well you do know what to do if you want to.” I glance at her out of the corner of my eye and catch her smiling softly at me.

“What do you mean?” I turn to face her.

“Haven’t you ever??” she asked.

“Ever what?” I asked defensively because I am usually the one in control. People don’t question me. I question them. I find this odd because I realize I am not reading her mind to get the answers I want. I am actually having a conversation with her and I realize I am trying to keep thoughts of Isabella out of my head. A distraction.

“Had a swan Edward?”

“No. I haven’t. How does that work exactly?”

She flushes and I never really noticed she had done that before.

“Well there are several ways. I could go into the kitchen and get out my kit and we could use a glass if you want, or I could set myself up and you can drink it that way.”

“Really?” Oddly, I find this interesting. I had never entertained being with a swan before.

“There are more ways to do this.”  She starts fidgeting like she is nervous all of a sudden.

“Like how?” I press on.

“Well, that depends on you. Some like to drink directly from the source.”

“You mean bite you?” I gape at her in surprise.

“No. For example we could go into your bedroom where I can lay down on your bed, and you can either you can take it from me at a previous site, or if you want, I could make a fresh cut for you.”

“Where at?” My curiosity has the better of me right now.

“You mean where on my body?”

“Yes.”

“Anyplace you would like.”

“Angela?”

“Yes Edward.”

“Would you like to…”

I don’t get the opportunity to ask before my front door flies open as it is yanked off the hinges. I wasn’t even aware Alice and Jasper had come up and suddenly I am attacked by a four foot eleven inch feral vampire baring all her teeth. What the hell? Has she gone mad or what?

She pounced on me as I sat on the couch with Angela, then she locked her teeth into my shoulder tearing through my jacket and my dress shirt. Damn that shit hurts like a motherfucker!

She is snarling and hissing while clamping down harder and harder.

“OWWWWWW FUCK! Get her off of me Jasper!” I yell as he comes to stand in front of me chuckling to him self watching Alice turn Zombie on my ass. Some help he is… the smug bastard. I’ll remember when he needs my help anytime in the near future!

He looks over at Angela, “Hey Angela…Sorry bout the interruption but I couldn’t stop her.” He then turns to me, “No can do my man. You know better than to go against Alice. Did I not warn you man? This is your battle to fight with her Edward, not mine.”

He proceeds to plop down on my sofa between a very surprised Angela and myself,  as Alice pumps venom into my shoulder. I look into her heathen eyes and threaten her with a guttural growl. Her jaw unhinges and she has some blood and venom running down her chin.

The sting from the venom is coursing through me and damn it hurts like a motherfucker as my body absorbs the shit!

“Oh….wait…I forgot!”  Then out of nowhere, faster than shit she has switched to my other fucking shoulder, locking onto me as I fly up off the couch. She is hanging like a damn monkey stuck to my fucking back holding on for dear life. I cannot shake her off, and when I go to grab at her I hear Jasper’s warning growl.

“ALICE KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF ! IT FUCKING HURTS!!!!!!” I yell.

She manages to clamp down harder and then she finally lets go pulling away, but not before she flips over to stand in front of me now, while fisting my shirt in her tiny little hands as she tears it off from under my jacket, then the little heathen takes it to wipe my blood from her vicious mouth only to throw it back at me.

I strip off the rest of what is left of my shirt and jacket and start to lick my wounds sealing them as I am cursing to myself.

“You know I should be the one biting you!” I growled out in anger but it does not deter her one bit.

“Shut up!”  she screeches. “How DARE YOU!”

“You listen here Edward Cullen. You are going to go over to Isabella’s and apologize for ditching her on the dance floor and humiliating the shit out of her you pretentious asshole!”

“No I am not Alice. I explained to her that I was too dangerous for her. I won’t be going near her again.” I snap. This truly was for Isabella’s benefit. I on the other hand am a selfish, needy and controlling bastard that wants his way. For once, I do the right thing and I get crucified for doing so. What the hell does Alice expect from me?

“You can’t do that!” she stomps her foot like a petulant child with her fists clenched.

I stare blankly at her. “Did you just stomp your foot?”

“Edward what is the matter with you? Isabella is your mate! Your one true mate! You do not walk away from your destiny!”

“She is also human too Alice. Be serious. I am a vampire. She is human therefore we can’t be together!”

“Why the hell not?” she folds her arms over her chest. Ally rarely gets pissed off. This is actually a very rare occurrence and for the first time ever, I am surprised she is enraged and it is directed at me.

“Because Alice… I don’t fuck humans!” I shout.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? Then what the fuck is she?” She points to Angela who is sitting there in shock I think.

“Exactly how it sounded!” I argued.

“Jasper! Tell him! Tell him he cannot be with anyone else!”

“She is right Edward. You will not be able to get it up for another female…ever! You have gotten the curse man.”

I almost laughed until Alice crouches to bite Jasper and his eyes widened in fear. Nice to see I was not the only one to piss Alice off this evening.

“You take that back Jasper Whitlock or so help me!”

“Okay baby, I didn’t mean it, I swear. It just sort of came out. You know I love you with every fiber of my being, my love muffin.” Talk about sucking up…man Jasper is good at this shit. I need to take lessons from him. That thought made me laugh.

“Man could you be any more pussy whipped.” I snorted out and he just glares at me.

“At least I got one to fuck, unlike you...you motherfucker!” He chucks a pillow at me. I duck as it whizzes past me it hitting the wall and falling to the floor. It was nice to see that at least my vampire reflexes were still as fast as ever.

“For your information….she not only hates you now, but she is pretty pissed off at Emmett as well.” Alice sneers.

 I wonder what Emmett did to her and I will have to grill him about it later, but I presume it was my defense. He always looks out for me.

“Emmett is used to handling my collateral damage.”

“Edward, she is not collateral damage you asshole. I can’t believe your eyes are still green! How long have you been away from her now?”

Then Angela finally squeaks out a question. “This Isabella would not happen to be Isabella Swan would it?”

I turn to look at her. “You know her?” I knew she did, but I wondered how.

“Yes. She comes into the library that I work at. I have run into her from time to time. We both spend a lot of time reading.” She shrugs nonchalantly, but I can hear her thoughts.

Neither of us have a damn life. We prefer to read and live vicariously through the stories that we read. It is more exciting, and less trouble, plus no-one hurts you.

I feel a wave of calm as Jasper eases up Angela’s sadness. I just shake my head.

“Edward maybe this isn’t the best time. I will go ahead and just call a cab.” Angela stands up but Jasper plays the southern gentlemen.

“I will give you a ride back to your car.” He kisses Alice on the forehead and tells her not to hurt me too badly as they both leave. I never utter a word to Angela, not even a goodbye.

Jasper props the door up to give us some privacy, but this is the penthouse. The elevator only goes up this far with a personal code, and I am the only one that knows it besides the little badger from hell sitting now on my couch glaring at me.

Her voice softens and she is my little Ally again.

“Edward what were you thinking about doing with Angela?”

I hear the hurt and sadness in her voice, and I feel like shit for it. I sit down next to her and huff. If there is one person I am close enough to, that I would admit anything to, it is Ally. She is like the sister I never had and I know her. Ally’s mind is one of the purest minds there is. She is genuinely this exuberant because she loves life even if she isn’t really alive. Her thoughts are of those she loves and cares for and I know that Ally has bonded with me unlike anyone else living or dead. I trust her damn it.

“I am scared Ally.” She looks puzzled by my statement.

“Edward Cullen doesn’t get scared.”

“I used to think so.” I mumble while shaking my head.

“What are you scared about? Isabella?” I cannot answer, because I do not know. I do not understand all that is happening to me. I turn my head and look at her as I lay my head on the back of the couch. I feel defeated, and at a loss.

“I think I am falling in love with her Ally. I think I fell in love with her the moment I first saw her. I know you say she is my mate…my eyes say she is…but fuck I didn’t plan on having a fucking mate Alice!”  I am fumbling, my thoughts are a mess. I am lost.

Her thoughts are of concern for me and she begins to understand. She lays her head down on my lap like she does when she is upset, only this time I think it’s because I am.

“There is nothing bad about falling in love Edward. Love is a good thing and you do not choose whether or not you have a mate. Fate does. You cannot control everything Edward Cullen. Try as you might, but some things are beyond your control...they just are! Our mate is one of the things in our lives we cannot control.”

I run my fingers through her hair and I can’t help but wish that it is Isabella’s.

“Alice I miss my playroom. I miss being in control of the woman in my life. I miss my private club. I miss being in control of everything in MY world. Everything has been knocked out of sync. I don’t like this shit at all.”

I sighed heavily.

“You do realize that I am going absolutely insane here do you not? I have clothes thrown around the floor, my front door is broken off of its hinges, and I feel compelled to repair them and have everything in its proper place. I just want to fix everything…I want it to be the way it used to be. You know me.” It was what I knew and I was comfortable in my life. Damn it if Isabella had not turned my whole life and all I knew upside down.

“Jesus Alice I could have any girl I wanted and now all I can think about is her! My world does not revolve around anyone else’s damn it!” I was self centered and used to having my own way.

“Maybe it’s about time it should.” She whispered.

“Why does it bother me that the most beautiful girl in the world is God knows where… doing God knows what, with God knows who, and it is my fault. I know Emmett and Ben are watching over her… they will protect her, but my brother shouldn’t have to do it.  I should be the one protecting her, but how much protection can she really get from a Vampire that wants to tie her down, fuck her senseless and in the vilest of ways? What the fuck is wrong with me?”

Once again, I have to remind myself that this is out of my control and fuck if it isn’t hard to come to grips with this.

“You are truly one fucked up individual Edward Cullen.” Her head turns and her golden eyes look into mine. I see myself through her eyes, and she is so fucking right. I need to pull myself together.

“I look good with Green eyes.” I smirk at her and she rolls hers at me. I feel that spark of anger. Did she just roll her eyes at me? I hate when anyone does that…I take it as a sign of contempt.

“Don’t do that Alice. Do not start that nasty fucking habit with me! I hate that shit and do not dare fucking say it!”

She giggles, but I hear her think it. Whatever!

I growl and she sits up and brushes my hair off my forehead, cocking her head to the side and sighs. “Yeah…sadly you are even fucking sexier and better looking with green eyes.”  Then she ruffles my hair.  Damn woman…I cannot help the way I look, but I can’t help but feel a little bit smug with her words.

It grew quiet for a moment before I said anything.

“I was just curious Alice. I swear. I wasn’t going to do anything with her.”

“You wouldn’t have been able to Edward.” She sighs and sits closer and lays her head on my shoulder.

“If I would not have been able to, then why did you barge in here all feral and shit on my ass?”

“I have always wondered what you tasted like.” She giggled.

“So you bit me twice? Fuck Ally; don’t think that shit don’t hurt! I never would have thought you would have bitten me.”

“I bit you twice you idiot, because one was from me and one was from Isabella.”

I sighed. “What is she doing Ally? Is she okay?” I need to know she is safe. I need to know something to take the edge off of me. Damn munchkin has me at her mercy…she loves having one over on me.

“You know for once Edward. I don’t think you deserve to know what she is doing. You made your bed Edward Anthony, now you fucking lie in it.”

Is she for real? Have I not confessed my deepest fears and desires about Isabella to her?

She shut me out of her head.

“Come on Ally please.” Just as soon as she sat forward, she zoned out…going into a trance like state, I watched the vision she didn’t mean to show me, but I was right there when it came into her pretty little head. 

“Alice No! She cannot do that!” I stood up, pulling my fingers through my hair; my anger just went through the fucking roof! 

“She already has!” her fear apparent in her expression.

“Then I will kill him.” I fly to my bedroom, grabbing a shirt and Alice is standing in my doorway blocking me from leaving. 

“You can’t do that Edward! Do you know what you will unleash upon your family if you do?”

I really do not give a shit about this right now…my only concern at this moment is for Isabella. I glare at her and roar loudly at the top of my fucking lungs…the whole damn house rattles, as I punch my fist through the nearest fucking wall…now I am seething mad because she is right.

“ARrrrrrrrggggggggggggh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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