The Outtake of me and Purrward....

A very typical Robshandmonkey type of conversation between me and the sexy beast Purrward.

I just informed Purrward that my Facebook identity “Robshandmonkey” was removed along with everything I ever posted under that name and worse that my facebook group lost all the previous work that was done over time while I wrote Shhhhh....and well this is how it went down...in my head anyway....because I am me and this is the strange shit that flows through me and I am silly enough to probably scare the hell out of you with this...but here it is...and just so you know...the voices don't like it when you all laugh at them....just sayin...snickers....

His expression.....

Eyes stare intensely at me as if he is mad, but he really isn't, otherwise he would be yelling at me, while his eyes bore daggers into me. But no...he doesn't react like most would expect. He takes that in for a moment, finally narrows his eyes and grills me about details.

Well one detail.

“As in deleted—gone—erased—non existent—no more? Like Asta La Vista baby?”

“It is as if I never existed.” I mutter and the feeling of shame washes through me.

He mutters out something about, 'why does that sound familiar?' before he finally asks, “Everything?”

“Everything.” I look up. I can only stare at him with a blank expression. I am stunned more than anything, but mostly, angry.

Angry at myself more than anything, deep down inside my anger festers. Yes, I am still burning pissed off at the one that instigated this little witch hunt, set me up to burn, played a total Cindy Brady on my ass and ran to tell the big bad Facebook police that I am bullying.

“Just like that? No warning? No smack on the back of the hand? All because you said something you in no way meant, but they took you seriously not even taking it as the metaphor it was intended to be?”

“That about sums it up.” I glance away when he starts to shake his head in disgust. I am totally embarrassed. Ashamed. Mortified, but deep down why do I feel so vengeful? I can't shake it. They say turn the other cheek...and I am trying. Really, really trying.

“I want to strike back, but what good would it do? It won't get me my name back.”

“Your right, it won't, so I have to ask, did you learn anything?” he quirks a brow up at me.

“Wait....aren't you mad? I mean I lost it all...everything! All that work...all those comments...all that history erased never to be found again!”

He smirks. He motherfucking smirks, amused by my rant.

“Well you answered that question for me now didn't you?...yeah...your getting it now. You did learn your lesson. I can hear it in your tone. Your anger is still an issue but otherwise it was a hard lesson...the important part of it is that you paid the price or are paying the price. So now what?”

I glare at him. His expression is indifferent.

He can be such an ass.

“I heard that!” he glowers in my direction.

“Bite me motherfucker!” I dare him.

“Silly girl if I bit you...you would want me to fuck you.” his eyes scan up my body.

Did he just check me out!? No...wait seriously? Honestly don't know if that is him fucking withme....

Nah....he is fucking with me.

Fucker. I grin.

“Silly Edward...you don't have to bite me for me to want that. Don't get me wrong...I would probably come the minute you got within inches of bringing your luscious lips to my throat. Every girl wants to be bitten by you...that's a given...but I assure you that I want to fuck you for eternity regardless, bite or no bite, and just so you know.... I would never let you rest...once you did...because trust me when I say the only break that will be had will be the unfortunate bed we choose to do it on....and...”

He interrupts my own little fantasy playing out in my head.

“All right...enough...you know I am spoken for.” He looks up annoyed at the ceiling.

I let that go for now...

I pout. “Now what? Should I stay with my real name and just keep it or create a new one?”

He looks away crosses his ankles as he leans against the wall and rubs his chin in the palm of his hand as he contemplates.

After a long drawn out silence he finally says, “Don't know....it's not my problem...it's yours to deal with, so you tell me.”

I consider the thought for a moment and decide instantly as I blurt out, recreate and learn to stay the fuck away from the seriously fucked up members of this fandom. In fact if they so much as come within my proximity...I just turn around and walk in the opposite direction. I can go looking for you instead.” I smile cheekily at him. “You are after all the reason I am here...ya fucking casanova!”

“But can you do that?”

“Focus on you?” I snort. “As if that is an issue? The issue would be can I walk away from you ever?And that would be a big fat NO! You own my ass...along with thousands of other female species that walk this planet!”

“I meant, keep your opinion of this topic that seems to eat at you to yourself.”

“Yes! Damn it yes I can! I come here to feed my addiction and all this bullshit that is costing us to lose good members by the dozens shouldn't be my focus. I mean this isn't how it is supposed to go. I come here to enjoy myself, to read good shit, most of it free and more importantly...I come here to write. To read, to get lost in your perfect world...and so um yeah I perve on you, have been caught touching myself when I read about you but hell, you know that already. I need to stick to my writing, stay out of groups, avoid any confrontations, topics or areas where the passionate side of my nature is stirred up by an instigating troublemaker who will get you all worked up and then turn around and stick you in the back with a knife like the loser that she is/was...whatever!I am totally over this bullshit.”

“Be nice. Name calling won't help...you made your point, she made hers now move on.”

“Alright...I am ready to move on.”

He chuckles when he hears my thoughts.

I will move anywhere you want. Just so long as at some point I am moving over and on top of you.

“Your unbelievable.” His eyes look as if they rolled up to the sky and shook his head.

“Yeah, well you sexy beast are so very fuckable.” I eye fuck him, his expression is somewhat amused and maybe a little embarrassed.

“Shut up!” He growls playfully.

“Make me.” I lick my lips.

“Oh sweet cheeks....if I make you shut up, I won't ever get you off my ass.” The look on his face has now peaked my curiosity to an all new level. I know whatever is going on in his head...it's fucking dirty. That look he has in his eyes is downright fucking dirty thoughts! I see it plain as fucking day! What is he imagining?

“With a look that devious...I almost want to beg you to do whatever it is that has you smirking so smugly. Care to clue me in?”

He stands on his own, sauntering closer and leans down to whisper a cool breath right against my ear.

“Trust me sweet heart...you can't handle this. I would tear you up and spit you out if I ever took your sassy ass into my bed.”

He leans back and I narrow my eyes at him then I smirk. His reply seems a little wary, surely he isn't afraid, is he? One can only hope.

He should be afraid, but I am not that stupid, nor am I giving up. I press him for something more.

“Bella handled it and she was human!” I smirk. “So why can't I? You don't think I am that gah gah over you? Think again buddy!”

“Your right she did...every motherfucking time too! Bella never fails to please me, but you seem to have forgotten, Bella really is just that fucking good. I have no reason to go anywhere else, and rarely is she not near. You get what I am saying?”

“Okay, Okay I get it. So lets try something else shall we? For example, talk to me...tell me what is going through that head of yours, when you just looked at me like that a minute ago!”

“Seriously? You are the one with the ability to read minds. I am not the author here, I am the hero!”

“Ahhh...chapter 12.” I close my eyes and see him standing there pissed off at the world and shirtless. Eyes glowing, rage burning, and I smile and quiver at the memory of just how hot he was in chapter 12.

“Good God woman! Can't you think of anything other than sex and me naked?”

“Please! You love how much lovin and attention you actually get from the vast numbers of insane females, who lust for you on a daily basis! You are batshit crazy if you think we don't look at you and think of anything other than sex! Impossible! Silly vamp!”

“Hey now! Those that follow this story are not crazy! I am surprised you would say that!”

“Sorry...hate to inform you but these are the same people that like the same things I do...I am crazy...therefore it should go as follows....insane pervy girl lusting on hot young dorky at times but sexy as all fuck at other times is crazy and and those that follow that insane pervy girl who is in love with a fictional character....are just as downright crazy! Admit it we creep you out!”

“No fault in loving to expand one's mind while reading!” He grins. He fucking grins!

“See I told you loved it secretly! You can't hide that shit from me your ego is so huge I am surprised there is room left for you in that big head of yours!”

“So...expand my mind further if you would please...I wanna know when you gave me that look just now...come on tell me what you were thinking? What did you envision? I have to put a thought to that expression!”

“Not a vision. A memory.” he smiles wistfully.

I rub my finger along the front of his shirt. “Share for us pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pretty please!”

“You want me to share a totally intimate moment that I had between me and Bella for your own pervy kicks?”

“Uh...hello....Shhhhh....was in fact that very thing? How could you forget this? Your a vampire for crying out loud! Now spill! I won't give up till you give in.”

“Fine, but I must ask that you be restrained for this!”

“holy motherfuck are you saying you are going to tie me down to tell me this?” I stand here gaping at him and my eyes fill with pure lust while my body shudders.

He moves with lightning speed and I am pressed up against the wall, sadly, facing it and not him, happily he is pressing against me. Not as hard as I would like of course but hey he is there...that's what is important right?!

His cool breath blows over behind my ear and I feel him step back and I frown. Then before I can say a word, his voice is soft and soothing and smooth as velvet ,saccharin sweet like honey and he smells mouthwatering.

“Okay little girl—I want you to close your eyes—listen to my voice—focus on what I tell you. I expect nothing less than for you to do as I tell you! Stay right here, don't speak, and I promise baby, if you behave, I will draw in closer while I hold you captive by my voice, my hands and eventually my body. I know you would like that wouldn't you?”

“Yessss.” I breathe out as my heart skips ten beats.

“You want to know exactly what went through my mind, but I am not so sure we are thinking alike this time. You have one of the dirtiest minds I have ever been inside. Emmett is a close second to you but I'd wager that you my love are by far pretty damn fucking kinky. With that....lets see if I can top any of the things you had me do during Shhhhh.... that Bella and I have done out of your presence shall we?”

“Wait...this is in the past? Why did you not tell me this?! Are you holding out on me? Seriously?”

“What part of don't speak did you not understand?”

“Sorry.”

~EDWARD~

I bring my hands up placing them over top of hers to press them into the wall as I stand behind her, so close, the heat of her body emanates off her. One good solid step back and she would no doubt bump into me. I know I am fucking with her as I tease her playfully. It is all in fun. She knows where my heart lies. I honestly don't think she would ever expect me to even consider another when I have Bella.

We play like this.

Okay....so I play like this. It is funny to watch her get all flustered and miffed. Its rather cute in a way. I mean she fucks with me on a daily basis. A thought flutters through her head and she knows I can't stop it until it is too late and the damage to my mind is done.

“Your forgiven this time, but interrupt me again and I may bend you over my knee...and don't get any wise ideas. In case you forgot I CAN HEAR YOU!” I scold when the thought of her pulling down her pants before she places her ass bared up at me. I shake my head.

God she is unfuckingbelievable. Does her mind ever stop?

She nods and I begin to explain the night that Isabella convinced me she wanted to do something so insane I thought she was joking at first. I mean I didn't take her seriously.

S*h*h*h*h*h.......

“You want me to what?” I look at her incredulously.

“Come on Edward! It will be fun.”

“Uh...I don't think so Angel. That's just insane.”

“Why not? We are vampires for crying out loud! You used to love to live on the edge! Not to mentiont the fact that your handsome, sexy, and gorgeous!”

“Your biased.”

“Damn it Edward! I want some sexy HOT photos of you and you will do this photoshoot!”

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry Master, I lost my head for a minute.” she pouts. It's rather adorable as I stare down at her. I can sense, see and smell her remorse that comes with the apology.

“Exactly what would you have me wear in this said hot photo?”

“Chaps!”

“No...just no!” I refuse.

“No? And why not?” she pouts.

“Why can't I be sexy in a pair of pants WITH A shirt?”

“Silly Edward. I love you, but I love you ten times more when you are shirtless!”

“And obviously pants less! Would these chaps have an ass in them?”

“No most certainly not!”

“Your an insane little vampire do you know that?”

“But I am your insane little vampire and you know you would look so freaking hot like that.! I promise I would hang the photo in our playroom for our eyes only what do you say?”

“And if I do this what do I get out of it?”

She grins, bats her lashes and says...

“One night of the wildest places we could fuck all night long! You name it.”

My mouth falls open and my cock hardens instantly.

Holy Hell...now what to do what to do....it's one picture...okay maybe two. In leather...bare ass naked of course...could I do this? Hmm....?

Robshandmonkey~

I post the night of sex when you all find the perfect photo of a cowboy in chaps that I can manip to look just like Edward...I been searching and searching...I need some help here ladies....I will know the photo when I see it...so post a link to the photos you all find and once I manip that baby you get the rest of this outtake... cruel I know but I am in need of some help! Lol.....It is time to give back a little...!

muah!!!